Sometimes I get so frustrated. I am the only one who has to deal with her. Hubby doesn't do much of what I do. Sure he changes diapers and crap like that but most of the time it's me. I'm doing it all. I'm on call all the time and I don't get to sleep through the night like he does. Heck, he even gets to take naps. Great for him. But who really needs it more? Me or him. He has to go to work, what an excuse. I know he has to, but still I get so frustrated. Nothing is ever the same, but yet it's the same old struggle. I've been so good with it too, but just today is a hard day. Only 45min naps and fussy fussy fussy. Cry when I put her down, cry to go somewhere else, cry to change a diaper. But tired, but won't sleep. GRRRRRRR.

I am going to sew diapers for her. That should be fun.

I think I read fiction to escape. Is that wrong?

And then he is late for lunch today. Yeah, like my schedule can change and move to the beat of his whims. Makes me mad. Seems like no consideration for what I am doing. Yeah, I just take care of the baby, and clean, and cook, and do laundry, and change diapers, and nurse a baby, and do damage control for a baby and and and and.......... I am going to pilates tonight if it kills me.

Going lentil. Going vegetarian. I don't mind. It's cheaper and better on the waistline too. Granted there are full fatted versions of every food available, but still mostly it's low fat.

I'm half tempted just to eat without him and go. Let him feel what it's like to be at home BY YOURSELF for a while. Of course maybe he'd like it.

I'm about ready to loose it. Either he comes home or I'm outta here. Going shopping or something. I am going to give him 15 minutes and then I'm gone.

Later.