Sunday, June 28, 2009

30 Day Shred - Day 7

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Just so I remember where I am at, I completed Day 7 of the 30 Day Shred. It's still tough, but I notice little changes. Like I am able to actually kick my butt on the butt kicks and the jumping jacks are a little smoother, more graceful. So I'm getting better. Wow, I can't believe I've made it a week, with no breaks! Now on my 'usual' days off, I just do the shred and the walk to the post office (we live in podunk and have to get our mail at the post office everyday. It's a mile walk round trip so it's ok.) and no other working out. Well, I do also do some work in the garden, so I'm staying active but no extra planned working out.

I think I'll be ready to move on to the next level in a day or so. Woohoo!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Brutal Honesty

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Nadia gets my mothers knack for honesty.

We were lounging around in the kiddie pool this afternoon, just her and I, having a good time cooling off. She braced herself with her hand on my thigh to get up and noted: "Mama, you're squishy!"
"Yes, yes I am. But you are too, you are squishy on your butt and your cheeks. Everyone is squishy."
"Why are you squishy Mama?"
"It's called fat, Nadia. Everyone has some. Even Papa, even Rhys. Everyone has fat."
"Rhys' butt is squishy, my butt is squishy. I'm a little squishy, but you are A LOT squishy."

Thanks Nadia for that reminder. *sigh*

Monday, June 22, 2009

It's All Tammy's Fault!

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Ok, so I had been following Tammy's 30 Day Shred reviews for a while now and thought "nah, this can't be as hard as she says it is. And I'm in GOOD shape, this isn't hard enough for me." I even went to Collage Video's and watched excerpts of it and still wasn't convinced. Well, I WAS WRONG. So wrong. So so wrong.

We have Netflix, which is a nice way to rent vidoes by the way, and I saw that I could get the 30 Day Shred, so I thought I'd at least see the whole thing. Hey, it would be nice to do something different, even if it was boring. Hah! Again, I was wrong.

I got the DVD today and sat down to view it. I always view my workouts before I do them, that way I have a heads up on what's happening, it helps me to perform better. While I was folding laundry, I noticed these ladies were sweating only 10 minutes into the workout. I thought "why are they sweating already? I mean, they haven't done that much" But it looked like fun and I was eager to do a workout tonight so I decided to do it. Here I sit, 30 minutes later, sweaty, hurting, but so so happy about this workout! It is exactly what I needed! It CHALLENGES me. I needed something to challenge me. I'm hoping this works. I plan on doing it everyday as they say to and see how it goes. I do plan on walking afterwards, just for like 15 mins or so, just to get outside by myself and get some sun. This is an excellent workout people, I highly recommend it. Try it, you won't regret it.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


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We planted Beets this year as we love pickled eggs and beets. I learned, however, that you can eat the tops and we have been. I've been putting them in out salads. Just the young, tender pickings, when I am thinning out the row. But the big leaves are too big and too tough for salads, so I'm wondering if I can get your help. I know the South eats greens and so I'm sure they have to have wonderful recipes for that. I don't know how many Southern Belle's I have reading this blog, but if you wouldn't mind sharing your recipe with me, I'd be so obliged.

I've got to do something with these greens and I sure don't want to throw them out (that would just go against my frugal nature.) So share away and I'll post the resulting plate of food. Thanks!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Sheer Foolishness

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Americans are foolish. I include myself in that statement. I spent over an hour and a half doing the most foolish act I think I could do. And I volunteered to do it too! I bet you've done it too. In fact I wager to say that most Americans have done such a foolish act themselves.

We mow the lawn.

Why, you ask, is that so foolish? Well, think about it. What is the purpose of a lawn? To mow it? Certainly seems so. Some people spend more time on their lawn than what they do their children. Um, this is wrong. And with the price of gas these days we are literally blowing money all around our yards. And what do we have to show for it? Little tiny pieces of cut grass, allergies, wasted time, money and energy. And for what? So it looks nice? If I spent that much time on my face and hair every morning people would call me vain. But if I spend that much time on the lawn, my neighbors are pleased. This is asinine. About the only thing I can see beneficial to mowing the lawn is exercise. If, that is, one uses a push mower. (And trust me I count every single calorie I drop on that lawn, whether it's foolishness or not! A calorie spent is a calorie spent!)

It would be better, especially in this economy, if we all just had huge gardens. We'd get a lot more for our money, time and energy. We'd all be better off financially, physically and eat better. I know gardening takes time, but doesn't mowing the lawn? Yes, there still is gas involved, but after the initial tilling, we don't drag that machine out till we put the garden to bed. It's really a better deal people. I'm thinking we'll expand next year. We have four gardens right now (not including the herb garden) but we could go bigger. Maybe connect all the gardens. I'm thinking a whole backyard full of food to eat. And where we have the clothesline just lay down some stones. No mowing required.

Now I realize that there are people who can't have a garden instead of a yard, or those who have huge lawns and it would be ridiculous to have such a huge garden. So I propose a new trend, a new business venture. Think with me here: Rent-A-Goat. These animals can eat grass (and weeds) like nobody's business. We could get boro's and townships to allow so many goats per family or per acreage. And it would only be during the grass growing months. A temporary lean-to would be provided in the rental fee. Sure there is the, um, waste products (that lawn mower we all have now has waste products) but those are beneficial for all those huge gardens we are going to have. What benefit does exhaust have? I'm sure it's just dandy for the environment. Suppliers of these goats would make a killing during the summer months and then spend the fall and winter months 'restocking' their supply. It's a great idea. And, here's the bonus, for a bit more rental fee one could get a nanny goat and keep the milk! Goats milk is purportedly better for us than cows milk anyway, so it's a win-win-win situation. Natural fertilizer for the gardens, lawn is mowed and you save money on milk and get a better product anyway! Oo, I like this idea! Just pop that goat on a picket line and problem solved.

Hmm, I may have something here.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


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I don't journal very much anymore. I used to, a lot, but then just sort of got out of the practice. I used to journal right before bed. Well these days the only thing I can think of before bed is, well, bed. I think my journal is under the bed somewhere. I have good intentions, but alas, my thoughts and frustrations remain conjumbled in my head. So, I need to get some stuff out. I am about to burst.

I feel like a lousy mother. Really, I do. My daughter is constantly asking to go to a different neighbors house all the time. And I feel like she wants to because I'm no fun. And I feel like I'm no fun because I have all this stuff I have to do. I try to include her in it, but when I ask if she wants to do this or that with me, she says no. What am I to do? We go on walks, but she always wants to go to the park. I've sworn off the park because she every time we go to leave she throws a fit the whole way home. I don't want to deal with that anymore. And last time she threw woodchips at another little girl who was doing nothing to her. I am so frustrated. The more she acts up the less I want to be around her and so I push her away. I know I do it. I just don't know what to do with her. If I say the sky is blue she'll say it's most definitely red. She'll argue the paint right off the wall. Even my parents and my best friend have told me that she's intense, active and hard to handle. She doesn't listen. I've tried time outs, spanking, ignoring the behavior, yelling, firmly telling her what I expect and it may work one time but not another. I'm about ready to give up! I am so frustrated, I just don't know what to do. I've always dealt with feeling love towards her, since the beginning. I have ppd to thank for that. I struggle with it, I've prayed about it. And I even sat down with her and had a talk about me not being perfect but trying to be a good mama. She seemed to understand. Things got better, a little, after that, but now they are back to bad. I've read Dr Dobsons' book, thank you very much. I don't know what else to do.
Different note. I read an article on sparkpeople about ideal weight. Come to find out my ideal wieght is in the range of 117-143. And because I am small framed (boo) I should weigh towards the end of that range. Crap. You mean to tell me that I still, after I loose the rest of what I thought was my lifetime goal I will still have like 20lbs left to loose? Man oh man. When does it end? I can see why women become anorexic, they are constantly told they are too fat! I still haven't decided if I'm going to go that low. I guess I want to wait until I get to my first goal. If I ever get there. Sometimes I think I'd be happy right here. Or at least at 154 because then that stupid BMI thing would say I'm a 'normal' weight. That'd be nice. Do you know that stupid thing still says I'm overweight? At least I'm not obese anymore. Gee wizz. Give me a break. I feel like I"m starving as it is right now. I'm hungry all the time of late and I look at myself in the mirror and I see a very tired mama. I have bags, bags! people. I don't know if that's because I'm getting up a couple times at night or not. And I'm not willing to do controlled crying with Rhys as I was with Nadia. I don't know why. PPD made me insensitive I think. Anyway maybe I need to back off of the dieting for a little bit. I think I'm getting too obsessed over it. I think I'm getting beat up.
By the way, how many times should a 8 mo old baby be getting up at night anyway? I mean he'll eat and go right back down. I can't complain about that. But I'm suffering for sleep here. And a lot of the time if Nadia gets up it's me who deals with that too. Why do mothers need sleep? Why can't we all just be supermom?
By the way I'm starting to taper off my meds. Just took a half dose last night, as per the dr. Will be doing that for a month and then a half tab every other day for a month.
There are times I say "God give me grace!" and that scripture pops into my mind "My grace is sufficient for you." So I guess it's going ok, because if it wasn't He'd change it, right? Sometimes I still feel like I need a friend who doesn't know I'm a pastors wife. I just need to be frank sometimes. Or charlie or larry.
Still my prayer, Lord give me grace.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Another Milestone...

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When Andrew and I married, we were easily 90lbs different in weight. Him being thinner, much thinner than I. That has changed. Oh yes. I am now thinner than my husband. That's not to say I've lost 90lbs in the past 6 years, no I've lost my fair share, but he's also gained his fair share as well. I've always wanted to weigh less than my husband, don't know, guess it's a woman thing. And it's here, I've finally made it. YAY!!

Even if it is only a half a pound, I still weigh less. Heh heh.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

I Gotta Tell Ya

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Rhys did the cutest thing tonight, I just hafta tell ya about it. This week is VBS. I am not about to take Rhys out 3 hours past his bedtime, so it's just him and I at bathtime. Which is fine, we have great fun. I really do enjoy putting him to bed. We usually end up playing and seeing what new things Rhys has learned. After I get him undressed I put him on the floor in his room and go get his bath ready. His room is right next to the bathroom and so he usually meets me there in a few minutes. He's crawling now, y'all knew that right? Well tonight I decided to play a gentle game of peek-a-boo. I heard him coming down the hall (how can you miss his grunting and excited squeals? He really is a contentedly noisy baby!) and I decided to hide behind the open bathroom door. He knew I was nearby and he thought I was in the bathroom, but when he got to the bathroom door and didn't see me, he didn't quite know what to think about it. You see, he doesn't crawl on all fours, he army crawls. So I'm secretly looking at a buck-naked boy scanning the bathroom to his left, the rest of the hall and living room directly in front and then craning his neck to peer into our room on his right. Upon not seeing me he gives a little bewildered moan, I swear he was trying to say 'mama?' It melted me. I couldn't stand to see him laying there on the floor feeling all alone when he really wasn't. So I peaked further from behind the door and said 'peek-a-boo!' He flashed me the widest grin and commenced to crawling into the bathroom, all happily grunting away.

He is such a heart-breaker.

The Lord's Table and a Guest Blogger!

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I invited fellow crunchy mama to be a guest blogger today. She has dealt with the whole food control issue and has found a great resource for dealing with that. I have started the study and I'll tell you, it is great. It's simple, but it uses a lot of scripture and it cuts you to the core. So far it's been effective. I haven't lost much weight, but that's not my goal. My goal is to change my food-view. And it's working. I praise the Lord! Anyway.

Sandy's Blog is called The Daily Poop. I encourage you to visit her blog, if you don't already and check her out. She's full of wisdom and humor, which is so needed in today's age. Take it away Sandy!

First of all, I'm really flattered that Kathryn would ask me to be a guest blogger. It's an honor for sure! Thanks Momma!
The asking came about when I read this post of hers. *gasp*! That could have been written by me...I share the same feelings. Always have, and probably always will.
Without getting sidetracked into my past dealings with my weight and obsession with food...I'll sum it up by saying that I hated exercise. This, I think, was due to being an asthmatic and never learning how to suit exercise to my disease; instead opting to avoid it as much as possible. On the other end, I love food. LOVE IT. I was not taught or (more likely) chose to avoid listening how to eat properly, and how to eat only to be satisfied, not because it's so stinkin' yummy.
In fact, I had no concept of eating as a means to live, not as the reason to live. Anyone who's been in this mindset knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Food addiction is real. It's perhaps not as horrible or life threatening as a crack addiction, or as cruel as an alcohol addiction, but it's just as real. And it's a tough one to beat. Anyone can avoid alcohol. You can quit and simply say, "No thank you, I don't drink" Try doing that with food. It's a paradox in that you must have it in order to live, yet you must learn how to live with it. And it's shocking how much food can take over your thoughts, just like any other addiction.
The main reason Kathryn asked me to post is because I've done a bible study before, called The Lord's Table. I had heard of it, but thought it was merely a weight loss tool, which it is sort of. Weight loss is a really awesome bonus. The REAL purpose is to teach some harsh truths to those of us who are addicted to food and will not admit it, then to guide us in love and teach us through the Word how to be free from it.
This study is wonderful. I decided it was time to try it when I was the heaviest I've ever been right before the birth of my third child. I saw pictures of myself and was not pleased. Not.pleased. Justin and I looked up the study and decided to try it together. It's a bible study, eating plan (there's actually two), message board, and each person is given a 'mentor'. Someone who has done the program before and completed a leader study. This person emails you daily, receives copies of the studies you do online, and is a encourager and helper as you do this study.
If you're willing to make the change, admit sin and repent before God, this WILL help you. I lost 50 lbs after son was born. I have a lot left of course, and plenty of excuses why it's not gone yet, but the study works. Your mindset will change if you are ready to change it.
One of the first things the study is frank about...and this is a tough one to chew (pun intended, even if it was no good =P ) -- if you think of food all the time, you are making it your idol. That was hard to realize, I had never considered that before.
But it's true, anything we put before the Lord is an idol. And it doesn't take much, honestly. Every time I go to the cabinet and get some chocolate ''because I'm...." that's idolatry. I'm turning to food for comfort instead of God. Have you ever had those "I'm want something to eat don't know what I want" moments? More often that not, that's your body longing for spiritual food, rather than earthly food. Try spending some time with God, and see if that doesn't ease the pangs first. From experience, I can tell you it will most of the time.
Does that mean we can never enjoy food again and must hate the very sight of it?
NO. It's about balance. It's not a sin to love food. The sin comes from loving food MORE than God. The whole point of the study is to teach that nothing tastes better, nothing feels better, nothing is more pleasing than time spent with Him. And oh how it's true!

Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him Psalm 34:8

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 103:119

The study makes a wonderful point about midway through:

For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving 1 Tim 4:4

If you want to have a cookie, have a cookie. Thank Him for it. Just don't eat 20 because they are so good, and then feel ashamed afterward.
That's the beauty and the price of freedom from food bondage. We are allowed to enjoy food. We are to be grateful for it! For who did all things come from? Being thankful, remembering from whom our bounty comes from, and focusing on God while enjoying a wonderful meal made from God's creation is key in breaking the bondage food holds on so many of us.
The biggest points to remember throughout this study:
-Loving food to the point it's an obsession is idolatry. Not easy to hear or admit, but true
-Enjoyment of food is NOT a sin. The sin comes from depending on food for anything other than sustenance and enjoyment (ie comfort).. The Lord is to be our comfort. He is to ease our loneliness, soothe our anger, fulfill the cravings that come from deep within.
-Everything God created is good. And God created everything, so it's all good. From the veggies from the market, to the cookies that come from the junk food aisle. And everything in between. The point is to remember from whom it comes and not love the food so much you forget who gave it to you.

The Lord's Table is a wonderful study. I highly recommend it. If you do try it and like it, will you let me or Kathryn know?

Again, thanks for having me over to your blog Kathryn! I wish I was *really* there, so we could have a cup of tea and a cookie and talk about God's awesomeness!