Friday, March 10, 2006
Ok, so she is in her crib, 'talking' to herself. Will she sleep? I certainly hope so. Hope. So much centers around that. But it is so essential to keeping us going. Without it life would be meaningless. We would have no reason. I have new hope. I have hope that I am going to get better that things will get better. I am certain of it. Oh I am scared. I am scared that she won't sleep. Scared that I won't get it right. Scared we won't find a church. Scared that I'll just loose it someday. Scared she won't sleep long enough. But but but. "God has not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power love and a sound mind". Amen! Lord please help me. I mean this. Help my mind to rise above the situation. To not get bogged down and loose sight of the true things. The true things. Like your promises. Like your love. Your presence. Oh Lord I pray, Transform my mind! Do you have more for me than this? I know you do. My life is more than her sleeping, eating, pooping and her butt rash. Oh I love her. But my life is more than her. Please help me to believe that. Lord I need you. I need your presence. I need your transforming power in my life. I am weak, I need your strength. I need the truth of your word. What will you have me memorize? I need. Ok, I'll do that. Matt 11:28ff. I will trust you for this day. This hour. This minute. I give them to you.