Sheer Foolishness

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Americans are foolish. I include myself in that statement. I spent over an hour and a half doing the most foolish act I think I could do. And I volunteered to do it too! I bet you've done it too. In fact I wager to say that most Americans have done such a foolish act themselves.

We mow the lawn.

Why, you ask, is that so foolish? Well, think about it. What is the purpose of a lawn? To mow it? Certainly seems so. Some people spend more time on their lawn than what they do their children. Um, this is wrong. And with the price of gas these days we are literally blowing money all around our yards. And what do we have to show for it? Little tiny pieces of cut grass, allergies, wasted time, money and energy. And for what? So it looks nice? If I spent that much time on my face and hair every morning people would call me vain. But if I spend that much time on the lawn, my neighbors are pleased. This is asinine. About the only thing I can see beneficial to mowing the lawn is exercise. If, that is, one uses a push mower. (And trust me I count every single calorie I drop on that lawn, whether it's foolishness or not! A calorie spent is a calorie spent!)

It would be better, especially in this economy, if we all just had huge gardens. We'd get a lot more for our money, time and energy. We'd all be better off financially, physically and eat better. I know gardening takes time, but doesn't mowing the lawn? Yes, there still is gas involved, but after the initial tilling, we don't drag that machine out till we put the garden to bed. It's really a better deal people. I'm thinking we'll expand next year. We have four gardens right now (not including the herb garden) but we could go bigger. Maybe connect all the gardens. I'm thinking a whole backyard full of food to eat. And where we have the clothesline just lay down some stones. No mowing required.

Now I realize that there are people who can't have a garden instead of a yard, or those who have huge lawns and it would be ridiculous to have such a huge garden. So I propose a new trend, a new business venture. Think with me here: Rent-A-Goat. These animals can eat grass (and weeds) like nobody's business. We could get boro's and townships to allow so many goats per family or per acreage. And it would only be during the grass growing months. A temporary lean-to would be provided in the rental fee. Sure there is the, um, waste products (that lawn mower we all have now has waste products) but those are beneficial for all those huge gardens we are going to have. What benefit does exhaust have? I'm sure it's just dandy for the environment. Suppliers of these goats would make a killing during the summer months and then spend the fall and winter months 'restocking' their supply. It's a great idea. And, here's the bonus, for a bit more rental fee one could get a nanny goat and keep the milk! Goats milk is purportedly better for us than cows milk anyway, so it's a win-win-win situation. Natural fertilizer for the gardens, lawn is mowed and you save money on milk and get a better product anyway! Oo, I like this idea! Just pop that goat on a picket line and problem solved.

Hmm, I may have something here.