Friday, June 30, 2006

O monday monday

I wasn't originally going to post about this, but I believe it will provide some freedom from the situation.

We had a meeting with that regional office on monday. A- was not approved for ministry in that region. We were blindsided. I will not go into the sordid details. We are very much back to square one. We are going to pursue another region and a whole other denomination.

I am having a lot of feelings about this whole situation. I am so angry at these men and I am even dealing with holding back hate for the key player in all of this. Got to pray, got to pray. Part of me is wondering whether we are supposed to be in ministry at all. We so fell in love with the place and now, now that is taken away. We were given hope. Now.... I read a scripture when I was doing my devo's and it really fits our situation:

Prov. 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.
Yeah, that says it all. We are heartsick.

But today the Lord reminded me of a promise He gave me a long time ago:

Ezekiel 37:14 I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken it and performed it," says the Lord.' "

I am sad, because finally I want to get pregnant again and have another baby, but we cannot do that right now. Life just isn't in a state where we could be pregnant. We have no insurance. We are so low on money.

N- is doing so well with everything. She has gone to one nap, nursing is down to 6x a day, instead of 8. And she's sleeping through the night. Finally. We Ferberized her. It worked. And I love my baby.

I've started on the Jerusalem Diet. It's working! I've already lost 2 lbs and I don't feel starved or deprived. I am actually satisfied.

And I have been asked to do a youth breakout session. Great. I mean I'm looking forward to it. And I need to prepare for it. Which is what I am going to do right now.

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