The Lord Is My Chef

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Some things have been happening around here lately and I'm not quite ready to share the full extent of the details, but the Lord has put a story on my heart and I'd like to share that.

The Lord is my Chef and he's been trying to make me an egg sandwich for the past 10 years. I love egg sandwiches, they are filling, nourishing and good for you. But for some reason (stupid human tricks) I have been running around eating lots of other things, things that are good for me, like fruit, salads.  And I've been eating stuff that isn't good for me, but taste real good at the time, like Doritos. Now the good stuff is good for me, but it doesn't fill, it doesn't last. And it's good to eat that, it's ok to eat that and it's even good for my body. But it doesn't have any staying power. Then the bad stuff tastes good on the tongue for a moment, but I have to deal with the consequences of bad food choices for a long time. It doesn't do anything for me except take up time and deceive me into thinking I'm filling my belly.

The Lords been telling me for years that he wants to make this egg sandwich for me to eat. He's been telling me that this egg sandwich will fill me up, it will be tasty and it's the food I've been looking for for a long time now. So I've slowly been coming into the kitchen with his gentle prodding. I've even allowed him to set me a place at the table and now I've even sat down, waiting. I've wanted to go back to the other foods, even gotten up from the table, the place he made for me, to eat the other foods I've been eating.

But things are different now. He's finally caught my attention, or I'm finally listening. I'm sitting, contentedly, waiting for my sandwich. He's given it to me and for about a week now I've been thinking about taking a bite.

And you know what? I think I'm going to. Because these other things aren't cutting it. They aren't filling me up. They are good and tasty and I'm certain the Lord doesn't want me to give those up either. They need to be a part of my daily diet, but the Lord's egg sandwiches do too. So I'm saying yes. I'm going to eat the egg sandwiches that the Lord has to give me too. I'm sorry it's taken so long. But better late than never.

And it feels so good. I feel peace.

Down Memory Lane...

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Some of my loving family has sent these two pics and I thought I'd share them with you. Enjoy!

This is me and my big brother John at Easter May 1985.  I was 5 years old.  

Twenty years later..... August 6, 2005, I was attending my husbands seminary graduation.  I went into labor the next day and she was born August 8.  It was a big weekend.   

Body Respect

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You all know that I have been (in vain) trying to loose weight and stuck at the same weight since June of 09. It's frustrating. I've tried everything. And I'm stuck. Simply stuck.

I subscribe to two fitness magazines. I received my Shape mag yesterday and read an article that has changed me.

I stopped fighting myself and became more forgiving of my body.

This quote is from Katharine McPhee. Now most of the time I could care less what celebrities have to say about whatever. I know they are real people with real thoughts, but their fantasy world effects those real thoughts. But this has value.

I have been berating and bemoaning my body for years. It's time to stop. I need to do just as she said, stop fighting and start forgiving my body. It's done so much for me. It has shed 120 lbs, it has grown two beautiful, healthy babies. It does work out and move on a regular basis. It is healthy, it is beautiful, it is strong. And (since we are near the time of Roe v Wade) it was fashioned by God's hands to do His will. Maybe it doesn't look exactly what I want it to look like, but that's ok. (this is the weird part) Body I forgive you. It's ok. Let's work together to be healthy, in mind, in spirit and in body.  I'll do my part to give you what you need, so that you can do what I need.  Thanks for everything. 

Just a Job

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I haven't posted much, sorry. Haven't had much to say. I've been thinking on some things, though. Mainly struggling with the whole stay-at-home-mom thing. Did you know I have a bachelor's degree? Yup, paid for too. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) And I feel like I don't use a lick of it. One doesn't need a degree to raise kids. But...

Ok, I'm just gonna free-write (you know in creative writing, you just write what comes....) I'm just gonna lay it out. I feel like a looser. I feel like what I do no one sees or cares about. I feel unimportant. I feel like no one listens and I feel like I have nothing of worth to contribute. Look at what I write about on this blog!? It's about sewing, diapering, cleaning. Who cares about those things? I don't get a bi-weekly pat on the back (paycheck, hello!) saying I've done at least a satisfactory job. I have 24/7 duty call, more, more, more.

I am struggling to know that my time spent is worthwhile. And I know it is! I know it. I mean, I know it in my head, but my heart doesn't believe it. I wonder if when sahm's were the norm if those women had trouble with it.

And I feel alone. So alone. I know the Lord is working on me in these areas. Trying to get me to rely on Him. I know that. But it's still hard. Even Jesus, in His darkest hour wanted his three closest disciples to be near to him in the garden. He needed to know someone had his back. My dearest friend is 4 hours away. And she's back to work, dealing with family issues, plus she has a new baby.

Please understand I am not complaining, I wouldn't want anyone else to raise my kids. I just need a brain change. But I don't' know how to do it.

Does anyone care?

Watch Out Vera!

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Ok, so as if finishing the quilt and pillows and shams wasn't enough, I made something else. I'm quite proud of this one. Actually, I LOVE it. Totally without a pattern or instructions. Well, mostly, I had a template for the flower.

My Sunshine Bag!  I crave the color yellow in the winter, I think because of the lack of sun.  I was thinking about making a lap quilt, but then saw tutorial about making a quilted tote.  I kinda ran with the idea and made my own.

Here is a close up of the quilting.  The area around the flower is known as stippling.  I did that on the back too.

 

The button closure and binding.

This is what the back looks like.  It's actually a big mistake.  I had tried to do one thing and found out that measuring accurately is very important.  But I didn't want to throw away all that fabric, so I went with it.  I think it looks neat!

A close up of the back quilting.

This is how I did the sides.  That is one continuous strip under the bottom and through to the other side.  I stitched in the ditch for the quilting here.  You can also see the strap.  I wanted something shorter than most tote bags offer.

Here shows the finishing I did on the outside seams.  It's called a french seam, wherein the raw edges are enclosed.  It gives the bag stability and durability.  It also makes the bag look nicer.  I did a basic liner for the inside.  Nothing fancy, that's why I have no pics of it.  I really like this bag and intend on using it for a long time!  Now I need a makeup bag for the inside.  Hmmmm.  Got to start thinking of that. 

What do you think?

My Quilt...Again!!!

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My quilt is finally finished and while I realize most of you have seen these pics on facebook, I thought I'd post some here just for posterity sake. Lets see if I can do pictures again without pulling my hair out....

This is a pic of the binding, border and the quilt back.  A lady at my church gave me that material.  I think it is beautiful.

One last look.  Those two pillows on your left are reversible and the flange on the center pillow is leftover material from the back.  I tried to use ever last bit of squares or patches on this thing.  Unfortunately I still have leftovers.  And I was trying to pare down my stash.  I think I've only succeeded in making it bigger than before.  I am planning on another quilt.  A totally scrappy, erratic pattern.  I want it to go together quickly.  I'll keep you updated.  

Let me know what you think!

(By the way, the pics went up much easier by just doing one at a time, rather than a whole bunch)

Happy Anniversary!!

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I know this is a day late, but Happy Anniversary to my dearest hubby! Here are a few pics from that beautiful day seven years ago.

By the way, if anyone knows how to more easily put pictures into blogger, please let me know.  I had such a time even getting these to stay put!