Sunday, May 02, 2010

Today

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It's early. Oh not so early, but I'm the only one up, the house is quiet and I preach today. That is enough to rouse me out of a comfy bed on a sunday morning this early. I don't suppose many will read this before we walk to church, but that's ok, I'm sure the Lord reads my blog too. That's kind of a funny thought, the Lord reading my blog. Sweet.

I haven't talked much about this at all. I've mentioned it a few times, but not really discussed it at length. In truth, I'm afraid of people's responses and I'm just not ready to fight it yet. But maybe I wouldn't get a fight. Who knows?

I'm preaching today. I'm not afraid. Nervous yes. But I'm a whole lotta excited. God has called me to this, I can tell. I thought maybe He did when I received all those affirmations, but I can tell for sure when I do it. The power of the Spirit comes on and it's for sure. I enjoy it! Who would've ever thought shy little Kathryn would be preaching in front of people. I think it was harder to preach in front of Andrew last night than in front of a crowd of people. Your gaze can get lost in a crowd, but when your husband comes in and out it's a little unnerving. But I did ok.

The only thing I don't like about preaching is that you say things that are uncomfortable. But I suppose that's the main point. God isn't around to make us feel good. Change hurts sometimes. I suppose that's why I feel just a bit unsettled. This is different for me. I grew up thinking women shouldn't preach. And here I am doing this today. Honey, I don't know, I just know what I cannot deny anymore. The Lord has placed this call on my life and it's more dangerous to say no, or not yet, or You are wrong to the Lord, than it is to go with man. I'm trusting Him.

So I go. And yet, when I think about the people and what they might say, there is a bit of fear. And then I remember the word for today. Ezekiel 2:1-3:8.

And so again, I go.

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