Reading List

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My good online friend posted a reading list on her blog (can I call you that Kim?), so I stole her idea as a way to keep me accountable. I have a stack of books in front of me that I've been wanting to read for years now. I've been adding to it slowly, but not really subtracting many books. *sigh* Fiction is always easier and faster to get through than educational books. At any rate, here's what's on my shelf.

Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (I'm about 25% through this one)
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend (again 25% through)
A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George
The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson
Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton (this one has been sitting on my shelf for so long it has a picture as a bookmark of Nadia when she was a baby. My dear beloved friend gave this to me.)
Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus (again about 25% through. I'm noticing a trend here.)
Think Like Jesus by George Barna (can you guess how much I've read?)
Too Christian Too Pagan by Dick Staub (same.)
Women In the Church by Stanley Grenz and Denise Muir Kjesbo (this is the one I am currently working through with the bible to check references.)
Becoming A Woman of Influence by Carol Kent

And here is my wish list (all fiction):
Yada Yada Prayer Group Series by Neta Jackson (I just got done with the first two)
Desperate Pastors Wives Series by by Ginger Kolbaba and Christy Scannell

So that is what's on my shelf.  Ugh.  That's enough.  I feel like I'm in college again and it's all MY choosing.  There is just so much good stuff out there, it's hard to not read.  But then again I've always been a reader, a researcher and a writer (among other things).  

Recycling At It's Best

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I believe in recycling and all, but this is the best way to recycle!!

This was all packing paper in ONE box. It was hard to believe how much was there. I thought, the kids are always wanting something to draw on. So I gave them crayons and let them have at it. I'll keep what's not been doodled on for other times (would be good for painting too.) They had great fun!

Thoughts On Homeschooling

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I suppose it was only a matter of time before we got to this point. I mean, it follows naturally in our swing of things.

Even before Andrew and I got married we talked about homeschooling our children, for various reasons. The main one being we wanted to be sure our children were getting taught the things we wanted them to be taught (or, not the stuff we didn't want them to be taught). Naturally we wanted them to have a quality education. Little did I know that I would have a child that challenged me at every turn. Granted she has gotten much better, but we still butt heads frequently. That's probably because she is so much like me.

With this growing concern and time moving rapidly I was beginning to panic. When she turned 4 I knew we had to do something, as the next year she would enter kindergarten. I knew very little about homeschooling, the laws, what was required that first year, what would be required of me and how would I possibly get stuff done around the house and watch a little boy and school my daughter. I've been told the schools around here are ok, but.... We knew that the public schools weren't the way we wanted to go. Needless to say I was feeling the push.

I had also heard my fair share of homeschooling and how it's bad for the kids and that they NEED to be in public schools. *sigh* What my child needs is a good, quality education. And what we needed to do was figure out what that would be. It was tempting to just shuttle her off to school everyday and have more quiet in the house. But do I want to sacrifice my daughters most impressionable years for a few hours of quiet? Isn't that what being a mother is? Sacrifice?

Well about mid winter I discovered virtual charter schools. I was ecstatic! I thought this was the answer. Here I'd have someone who knew what needed to be taught in each grade, the lessons, the testing and I didn't have to worry about a thing!

I was so wrong.

We started the enrollment process. Everything was going great, until one of the last things I learned. I found out they run an all day kindergarten. I went to a half day kindergarten and I remember that about half that time was spent in recess, rest time, lining up and the other half was spent in actual instruction time. This charter school was expecting me to instruct a 5 year old for 5 hours a day. How in the world would I get anything done? Much less school and take care of a 2 year old? I'm sure not even all day kindergarten is 5 hours of solid instruction!

I'm finding out from other mothers that they spend a max of 2 hours in homeschooling in kindergarten. THAT I can do. And since I found out that PA's compulsory age for school isn't until age 8 and we wouldn't need to report that we are homeschooling until that age I feel much more free to sort of try it out. I'm told that kindergarten is the easiest to school. Not only that, but I've found tons of resources online for curriculum.

Needless to say, we stepped out of the enrollment process at this charter school. We will definitely keep it in mind for later years. But for now, homeschooling is much more an option to us after researching it a bit more.

Truthfully I'm apprehensive. Nadia and I just rub each other the wrong way. I don't want her education to suffer. BUT she LOVES to learn. And I do feel that it will work out.

But I'm not satisfied with it just falling into place. I'm reminded I need to spend time in prayer, lots of prayer about it. God loves her just as much as He loves me. He created myself and He created Nadia. In His wisdom He placed us together.

Pray for us too. And if you have any words of wisdom I'd love to hear them. One thing I'm learning is that this homeschooling thing cannot be done alone. That's much like the rest of life, isn't it?

Adventures In Whole Grain Baking

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Y'all know I bake with whole grains, or as much as is possible. Now I should give you a bit of background on my experiences with whole grains. Growing up, my Mother was a H.E.A.L.T.H. N.U.T. I am not kidding. We ate tofu dogs long before they were popular (and if you ask me, they still should not be popular). Rice milk, dairy free this, and sugar free that were staples at our house. Yuk. I believe in eating well, eating healthy so as to promote healthy bodies. However, there is a problem with all of this IF NO ONE WANTS TO EAT THE STUFF! *ahem* My mother forebade any sort of normal, or real cookies, candies or cakes in our house. At all, like never, not even for a treat. We weren't in danger of dying if we ate a single solitary chocolate chip cookie! That being said, I do believe in eating well, I also believe in small treats. You know why? Because my brother and I were so deprived when we would come in contact with said sugary treats we would gourge ourselves on the heavenly goodness. I can still ashamedly recall plunging my finger into a forbidden canister of chocolate frosting, over and over and over again at my grandmothers house. No wonder I grew up fat and frumpy.
So, I make cakes, cookies and treats at my house. Not everyday, not even every week, but there will always be some sort of sweet treat at my house for my kids and husband. My children are learning self control. But I still want to make those treats as healthy as possible, without sacrificing taste. The problem with the 'sweets' my mother had for us tasted like sawdust. They were junk and we didn't eat them. So I've been experimenting with whole grains. I've got the bread down pat. Rhys will even snack on a plain piece of bread. Which is just fine with me. But lately he's been wanting Nilla Wafers after his dinner. So I found a recipe to make my own. YAY! I wanted to put some whole wheat flour in it, but in the past when I replaced all of the wheat, they didn't turn out as nice. So this time I used a soft white winter wheat. Still the whole grain, but a lighter, better for cookies, cakes and quick breads. And I only replaced half the flour called for the whole wheat.  They turned out great.  I also made some chocolate chip cookies for the rest of the family and replaced half the flour with wheat and Nadia raved over them.  If she can't tell the difference, and the girl knows her cookies, then they've got to be good.  If they pass the Andrew test I know it works. 
For your salivation delight, a few pics.

The Vanilla Wafers.  Crisp and light just like the store bought ones. 

An oldie, but a goodie the beloved Chocolate Chips. 

Makes you want to eat one, doesn't it? 

Life Lessons From a Horse Whisperer

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Life Lessons From a Horse Whisperer by Dr. Lew Sterrett  

ABOUT THE BOOK!

A champion trainer and true horse whisperer, Dr. Lew Sterrett has used patience and a firm but gentle hand to earn the trust of more than 3,500 horses. In this book, Lew tells the stories of his work with these horses and the lessons each one has taught him. Sometimes heartbreaking and often uplifting, Lew has condensed his lifetime of learning into messages for the Christian life. Today, Lew shares these messages with more than 50,000 people each year through horse training presentations at Miracle Mountain Ranch and nationally through his Sermon on the Mount Ministry.

The author's engaging style and adroit mixture of well-tested anecdotes and thoughtful instruction make this a winning read-and not just for horse lovers.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR!

A champion trainer and true horse whisperer, Dr. Lew Sterrett has used patience and a firm but gentle hand to earn the trust of more than 3,500 horses. Dr. Lew Sterrett (Ph. D) had little idea that his boyhood interest in horses would open doors internationally for speaking and training. During his years in 4-H, he savored many opportunities to train and show horses and earn national recognition. As a student leader at Penn State University he benefited from many mentoring relationships from which he received valuable training, experience and honors. This foundation provided a basis for an extensive horse career with a unique emphasis on training youth and community leaders.

Lew has served as the Executive Director of Miracle Mountain Ranch Missions, Inc. (MMRM) since 1977. MMRM, located in northwestern Pennsylvania, is home for a summer youth camp, and a leadership training center for youth, adult, and family groups. He has also promoted safety in public riding programs, serving as President of the Certified Horse Association for 7 years. A licensed pastor, certified Youth, Marriage and Family Counselor, he earned his PhD from North Tennessee Seminary in 2007.

An Interview with Lew

THE TITLE OF YOUR THIRD CHAPTER IS 'ANYTHING WORTH DOING IS WORTH DOING POORLY' – WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 

Of course this statement opposes the more popular line that 'If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing well'. However we must understand that no one ever starts anything at the top of their game. Starting is often clumsy, messy, and many times, embarrassing. The key is 'get started' for you will never learn any younger, and you really have no place to go but up! The emphasis here is to learn how to take the initiative and to keep getting up when you fall.

IN CHAPTER SIX, YOU MEET BERRY AND DESCRIBE HIM AS “THE HORSE THAT WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE.” HOW DID HE CHANGE YOU?

Berry, though outwardly beautiful and inwardly kind and cooperative, came to a place in his training that seemed impossible to surpass. As chapter 6 tells you, we thought Berry had reached his pinnacle. Finally, instead of trying to force the issue, I went back and started some basic training to increase his flexibility. Eventually, he overcame the physical challenge that was holding him back before. What I learned from him impacted me. Character is a reflection of the heart and will always surpass natural beauty and talent in the long run.

IF THERE IS ONE MESSAGE YOU WANT READERS TO TAKE AWAY FROM YOUR BOOK, WHAT IS IT?

Every trainer wants a relationship with the horse. Man’s ways are opposite to God’s—we are deceitful and addictively self-absorbed—but God wants a relationship with us. To get there, God often has to corral us and get us to face the futility and deception of our own reasoning. Like the horse, we can’t 'save ourselves.' The story of this book is that not only does God want a relationship with every reader, but He has already sent the trainer, the Lord Jesus Christ, into our arena to speak our language and to elevate us to fellowship with him. It is our privilege to respond to Him in humility (repentance) and trust (faith) in His offer of forgiveness and eternal life to all who believe in Him for salvation.

Find out more about Dr. Lew Sterrett on his website: http://www.sermononthemount.org/

My Thoughts
 I enjoyed this book.  I have loved horses from an early age, although we never had horses on the farm.  Maybe that's why I loved horses so much.  The Lord spoke to me through the author in a few ways, one was that if I am constanly saying "I can't do this...." then I am focusing on myself and my powers, my abilities.  God has called me to this, therefore I need to look to the one who called me, not myself.  He is my leader, my trainer.
The other was that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.  This ministry that God has called me to is not going to be perfect, ever.  Especially not at first.  But if I want to hone my skills I need to start somewhere.  I need to just let go of the fear of failure and focus on God training me and leading me.
Other than the things it taught me, I enjoyed the easy to read nature of the book.  It was a very enjoyable read and I recommend it to others.  I found myself nodding my head in agreement to the many things he said.  I could see how some of the things would help me in rearing my daughter and son.  I encourage you to check this book out!   

My Favorite Thing To Do With Chicken

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And it happens to be the easiest thing as well!

I call this Rotel Chicken (I don't know why, it has no rotel products in it at all)

1 can salsa (your heat preference, about 16oz)
1 can refried beans
2 chicken breasts
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Cumin
1 package of soft tacos
Favorite taco fixins

In your crock pot throw the can of salsa, rinse the sides of the can with water, but don't throw that water out, throw it in the crock instead. Add the refried beans, garlic and onion powders to taste and a bit of cumin (I dunno, I measure like Rachael Ray). Mix all this up real well.

Then add the 2 chicken breasts. 2 seems to do very well, it has a nice proportion of the sauce to the meat and 2 makes a lot! (I usually always put mine in frozen and they come out great)

Turn to high for 2 hours, then low till fork tender. Or if you are putting it in the morning just turn it to low and it'll be done.

When the chicken is fork tender take it out, shred it and return it to the crock. Mix all that up and serve with taco fixins! This is the best chicken taco's I've ever had. My husband loves them and so does Nadia!

That's what's for dinner tonight!

Any good ideas for a name for this recipe, besides Rotel chicken?

A Perfect Reuben

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Besides having an awesome name (which, by the way means, See, here, a son!) Reubens are pretty favored around our house. Andrew loves them. I prefer a Rachel (which means 'ewe') myself. As such, we have them not often, but enough to have picked up some tricks of the trade for a non-soggy scrumptious Reuben.

Ingredients:
Rye bread - lightly toasted, this is important!
Corned beef
swiss cheese
sauerkraut - well drained, like for 5 minutes over the sink in a colander
1000 island dressing
butter

I've found that an electric skillet is best for cooking up these sandwiches, makes for easier flipping.

Pre-heat skillet, butter one piece of toast and place buttered toast side down on the skillet. Spread the 1000 island dressing over the piece of toast. Place one piece of swiss cheese, pile half of the meat you want to use for that sandwich, a nice, but not overly amount of sauerkraut, making sure it's even. Then the second half of meat, then cheese and then spread more 1000 island dressing over the cheese and place another piece of buttered toast on top. Cook covered for a few minutes. Check toasting with a large turner and carefully turn if toasted to your liking. Cover. Check. Then serve!

Sandwiching the sauerkraut in between the meat and cheese helps to keep the juices from leaking into the bread, making it soggy. When you eat it, the juices dribble out the sides on to the plate, rather than through the bread.

So that's our Reubens at our house. We use homemade Rye bread of course!

Enjoy!

Head Covering

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I'm covering my head now. Only at certain times. It's something that God's been bringing up again and again. I've obeyed and this is what it looks like. I'll have to blog more on that later. It's connected with the previous post.  Here is the reference about head coverings in scripture: I Corinthians 11:2-16

Your thoughts?

Deep End

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Some pretty cool things have been happening here. God's come collecting on a call He placed in my life about 8 years ago in seminary. I thought He'd not ask me to do anything with it until my kids were grown, or at least a bit older. But no, He's made it crystal clear that the time is now. I'm excited. I'm a little scared, but I stepping out in faith, one baby step at a time. Which is why I'm not saying what it is yet. But I will. I still got some thinking and processing to do on it yet.

However, I found a song that describes exactly what I've been feeling/doing/experiencing. It summarizes the past few weeks. I praise God He hasn't let up on me yet. I praise Him that He didn't give up and that I can still honor Him this way.

Deep End - Newsboys

she's diving down
gonna make her home now
the ocean
she's done with living her life
on the ground
she's sinking down
hands above her
held her
nineteen years
and now their letting go
tomorrow will be 'round
and everyone will see
no tragedy
it's like it's over
but it's just begun

she's going off
the deep end
breaking from the crowd
she's way in over her head
i think she's gonna drown
she's going off
the deep end
the search is over now
she's falling into your hands
it's all or nothing
there's no guessing
she's been lost and found

she's diving down
scars on her elbows
the wind blows
an old song spins around inside
'how sweet the sound'
to be living
and dying
looks like it's over
but it's just begun

to take this step of faith
don't need to be scared
turn worry into wonder
dissolve the fear
she's steppin' out
and you drop the blame
as she speaks the name
above all other names

to be lost and found
her world has turned
upside down
her soul restored
with salt like rain
from all of the things
that you forgave
and all the times she'd disobey
she's diving in the ocean of your grace

Happy Valentines Day!

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I don't believe in Valentines Day. If Andrew only showed his appreciation and love for me one day out of the year, we'd have problems. I could really care less about getting sweets (hello! I'm always dieting!) or stuffed animals, or other worthless junk. I know he loves me, he shows me everyday. And I am more thankful for his everyday love than what he could buy for me one day out of the year.

That being said look what Andrew got me for Valentines Day!! (Ok, so I bought it myself, but told him he was off the hook. Heh heh)

I bought these from Crystal at her online shop 2bellesandabead.com.  This was a custom order and came so fast!  I don't change out my earrings all that often, but when I saw these I knew what I wanted.  These are leverbacks that the dangles can be changed out.  So I got one whole set of earrings with three other dangle sets.  Purple, red, white and blue.  They are sort of like little flowers.  I really like them!   Here is a link to similar ones on her sight.  Ruby Red Poppy Earrings

 

 

I realized after I took the picture and uploaded it that the dangle is hanging off the wrong spot.  It's supposed to be up in that little nook. 

So head on over and check out all the cute little goodies Crystal has.  That woman is seriously crafty and creative.  I don't buy earrings from anywhere else anymore.  I have two pairs from her.  I wear my earrings all the time...bathing, exercising, sleeping.  And the metal or gems haven't peeled, discolored or chipped.  Her prices are very reasonable considering the high quality you get and you get free shipping in the US!  I love this store!! 

Double Trouble Blog Tour!

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You'll have to pardon me, but this is my first book review, so this might be a bit poor, but I'll do my best.

Double Trouble  by Susan May Warren

About Double Trouble:
With one solved case under her belt, PJ Sugar is ready to dive into her career as a private investigator. Or at least a PI's assistant until she can prove herself to Jeremy Kane, her new boss. Suddenly PJ's seeing crime everywhere. But is it just in her head, or can she trust her instincts? When she takes on her first official case-house-sitting for a witness in protective custody-Jeremy assures her there's no danger involved. But it soon becomes clear that there is someone after the witness . . . and now they're after PJ, too.

About Susan:
Susan May Warren is the RITA award-winning author of twenty-four novels with Tyndale, Barbour and Steeple Hill. A four-time Christy award finalist, a two-time RITA Finalist, she’s also a multi-winner of the Inspirational Readers Choice award, and the ACFW Book of the Year. Her larger than life characters and layered plots have won her acclaim with readers and reviewers alike. A seasoned women’s events and retreats speaker, she’s a popular writing teacher at conferences around the nation and the author of the beginning writer’s workbook: From the Inside-Out: discover, create and publish the novel in you!. She is also the founder of www.MyBookTherapy.com, a story-crafting service that helps authors discover their voice. Susan makes her home in northern Minnesota, where she is busy cheering on her two sons in football, and her daughter in local theater productions (and desperately missing her college-age son!) A full listing of her titles, reviews and awards can be found at: www.susanmaywarren.com

The HUMDINGER-of-a-CONTEST

One Grand Prize winner will receive a $150 SUPER SLEUTH prize package that includes:

* A brand new iPod Shuffle (perfect for those all-night stakeouts)
* A $10 iTunes gift card (we recommend the ALIAS soundtrack)
* A $10 Amazon gift card (why yes, they do sell spy pens)
* A $10 Starbucks gift card (for fuel, obviously)
* A pair of designer sunglasses (be stealthy AND super chic)
* A gorgeous scarf from World Market (can also be used as a blindfold, and/or for tying up bad guys)
* AND signed copies of both Nothing But Trouble & Double Trouble. (romance! danger! intrigue! sooo much better than Surveillance for Dummies!)

Now what did I think?

I did enjoy the book.  It was a bit slow to start, but then it really got going and kept you wrapped up in it till the end.  An easy read, but definitely kept you thinking.  I don't usually like mystery books, but this one was sort of mystery light and even I could think up a few outcomes that were valid, although Susan completely surprised me by the ending.  Very good.  I liked it.  It also seemed that Susan had a realistic balance of God and life.  I'm a pastors wife and some of the Christian fiction can go a bit heavy, even for me.  I felt it was a good book to give to a searching friend. 
Overall I enjoyed the book and will continue to look for books written by Susan May Warren!

Don't forget to enter the contest!

Nuts About Soapnuts

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I thought I'd give my short review on a new thing I'm using. I've discovered soapnuts. And while I used them once about a year ago, I've really given them a try just this week. I always do laundry on monday and it's a doozy of a day. We are talking about 7-10 loads. Then I do some catch up loads during the week, like rags or cloth napkins. Cloth diapers are about 3x a week. I used the soapnuts yesterday. I LOVE THESE THINGS! They got out old stains, set in stains. Stains that I thought were there to stay! My clothes are soft, they are brighter, my whites are whiter. I'm hooked. My clothes just smell clean. We don't do a whole lot of fragrances around here and I'm trying to cut costs and chemicals. Well this is the way to do it! They did well in all washing temps. Do to cold you just have to make a tea and I could see the soap coming out of it. So I know they work.

The only thing I have about them is I'm not real sure when they are used up. I guess that's just a trial and error sort of thing. But I am saving the 'used up' ones and going to put a whole bunch together for some not as dirty loads. Like napkins. The other thing is it's hard to actually find the little bag at the end of a load. But I just search and find it.

I bought a bag of pieces, which are really halves and they work just as well as the whole pieces, if not better. They are WAY cheaper. I bought mine from amazon, but NaturOil is the company. I did my research and they are reputable. I encourage you to try them. I don't think I'll be buying laundry soap or softener for a long time!

Save money, better for my family, gets clothes cleaner, better for the environment. I like it!

The Lord Is My Chef

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Some things have been happening around here lately and I'm not quite ready to share the full extent of the details, but the Lord has put a story on my heart and I'd like to share that.

The Lord is my Chef and he's been trying to make me an egg sandwich for the past 10 years. I love egg sandwiches, they are filling, nourishing and good for you. But for some reason (stupid human tricks) I have been running around eating lots of other things, things that are good for me, like fruit, salads.  And I've been eating stuff that isn't good for me, but taste real good at the time, like Doritos. Now the good stuff is good for me, but it doesn't fill, it doesn't last. And it's good to eat that, it's ok to eat that and it's even good for my body. But it doesn't have any staying power. Then the bad stuff tastes good on the tongue for a moment, but I have to deal with the consequences of bad food choices for a long time. It doesn't do anything for me except take up time and deceive me into thinking I'm filling my belly.

The Lords been telling me for years that he wants to make this egg sandwich for me to eat. He's been telling me that this egg sandwich will fill me up, it will be tasty and it's the food I've been looking for for a long time now. So I've slowly been coming into the kitchen with his gentle prodding. I've even allowed him to set me a place at the table and now I've even sat down, waiting. I've wanted to go back to the other foods, even gotten up from the table, the place he made for me, to eat the other foods I've been eating.

But things are different now. He's finally caught my attention, or I'm finally listening. I'm sitting, contentedly, waiting for my sandwich. He's given it to me and for about a week now I've been thinking about taking a bite.

And you know what? I think I'm going to. Because these other things aren't cutting it. They aren't filling me up. They are good and tasty and I'm certain the Lord doesn't want me to give those up either. They need to be a part of my daily diet, but the Lord's egg sandwiches do too. So I'm saying yes. I'm going to eat the egg sandwiches that the Lord has to give me too. I'm sorry it's taken so long. But better late than never.

And it feels so good. I feel peace.

Down Memory Lane...

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Some of my loving family has sent these two pics and I thought I'd share them with you. Enjoy!

This is me and my big brother John at Easter May 1985.  I was 5 years old.  

Twenty years later..... August 6, 2005, I was attending my husbands seminary graduation.  I went into labor the next day and she was born August 8.  It was a big weekend.   

Body Respect

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You all know that I have been (in vain) trying to loose weight and stuck at the same weight since June of 09. It's frustrating. I've tried everything. And I'm stuck. Simply stuck.

I subscribe to two fitness magazines. I received my Shape mag yesterday and read an article that has changed me.

I stopped fighting myself and became more forgiving of my body.

This quote is from Katharine McPhee. Now most of the time I could care less what celebrities have to say about whatever. I know they are real people with real thoughts, but their fantasy world effects those real thoughts. But this has value.

I have been berating and bemoaning my body for years. It's time to stop. I need to do just as she said, stop fighting and start forgiving my body. It's done so much for me. It has shed 120 lbs, it has grown two beautiful, healthy babies. It does work out and move on a regular basis. It is healthy, it is beautiful, it is strong. And (since we are near the time of Roe v Wade) it was fashioned by God's hands to do His will. Maybe it doesn't look exactly what I want it to look like, but that's ok. (this is the weird part) Body I forgive you. It's ok. Let's work together to be healthy, in mind, in spirit and in body.  I'll do my part to give you what you need, so that you can do what I need.  Thanks for everything. 

Just a Job

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I haven't posted much, sorry. Haven't had much to say. I've been thinking on some things, though. Mainly struggling with the whole stay-at-home-mom thing. Did you know I have a bachelor's degree? Yup, paid for too. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) And I feel like I don't use a lick of it. One doesn't need a degree to raise kids. But...

Ok, I'm just gonna free-write (you know in creative writing, you just write what comes....) I'm just gonna lay it out. I feel like a looser. I feel like what I do no one sees or cares about. I feel unimportant. I feel like no one listens and I feel like I have nothing of worth to contribute. Look at what I write about on this blog!? It's about sewing, diapering, cleaning. Who cares about those things? I don't get a bi-weekly pat on the back (paycheck, hello!) saying I've done at least a satisfactory job. I have 24/7 duty call, more, more, more.

I am struggling to know that my time spent is worthwhile. And I know it is! I know it. I mean, I know it in my head, but my heart doesn't believe it. I wonder if when sahm's were the norm if those women had trouble with it.

And I feel alone. So alone. I know the Lord is working on me in these areas. Trying to get me to rely on Him. I know that. But it's still hard. Even Jesus, in His darkest hour wanted his three closest disciples to be near to him in the garden. He needed to know someone had his back. My dearest friend is 4 hours away. And she's back to work, dealing with family issues, plus she has a new baby.

Please understand I am not complaining, I wouldn't want anyone else to raise my kids. I just need a brain change. But I don't' know how to do it.

Does anyone care?

Watch Out Vera!

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Ok, so as if finishing the quilt and pillows and shams wasn't enough, I made something else. I'm quite proud of this one. Actually, I LOVE it. Totally without a pattern or instructions. Well, mostly, I had a template for the flower.

My Sunshine Bag!  I crave the color yellow in the winter, I think because of the lack of sun.  I was thinking about making a lap quilt, but then saw tutorial about making a quilted tote.  I kinda ran with the idea and made my own.

Here is a close up of the quilting.  The area around the flower is known as stippling.  I did that on the back too.

 

The button closure and binding.

This is what the back looks like.  It's actually a big mistake.  I had tried to do one thing and found out that measuring accurately is very important.  But I didn't want to throw away all that fabric, so I went with it.  I think it looks neat!

A close up of the back quilting.

This is how I did the sides.  That is one continuous strip under the bottom and through to the other side.  I stitched in the ditch for the quilting here.  You can also see the strap.  I wanted something shorter than most tote bags offer.

Here shows the finishing I did on the outside seams.  It's called a french seam, wherein the raw edges are enclosed.  It gives the bag stability and durability.  It also makes the bag look nicer.  I did a basic liner for the inside.  Nothing fancy, that's why I have no pics of it.  I really like this bag and intend on using it for a long time!  Now I need a makeup bag for the inside.  Hmmmm.  Got to start thinking of that. 

What do you think?

My Quilt...Again!!!

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My quilt is finally finished and while I realize most of you have seen these pics on facebook, I thought I'd post some here just for posterity sake. Lets see if I can do pictures again without pulling my hair out....

This is a pic of the binding, border and the quilt back.  A lady at my church gave me that material.  I think it is beautiful.

One last look.  Those two pillows on your left are reversible and the flange on the center pillow is leftover material from the back.  I tried to use ever last bit of squares or patches on this thing.  Unfortunately I still have leftovers.  And I was trying to pare down my stash.  I think I've only succeeded in making it bigger than before.  I am planning on another quilt.  A totally scrappy, erratic pattern.  I want it to go together quickly.  I'll keep you updated.  

Let me know what you think!

(By the way, the pics went up much easier by just doing one at a time, rather than a whole bunch)

Happy Anniversary!!

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I know this is a day late, but Happy Anniversary to my dearest hubby! Here are a few pics from that beautiful day seven years ago.

By the way, if anyone knows how to more easily put pictures into blogger, please let me know.  I had such a time even getting these to stay put!